| Some things are making me ask the question: how well do I really know myself? I always find it hard to talk about myself. I’m tripped up by the eternal ‘who am i?’ paradox. Sure no one knows as much about me as me. But when I talk about myself, all sorts of other factors tend to come up. Values, standards,my own limitations as an observer. I think more often than not, I would select and eliminate things about myself. I’m always disturbed by the thought that I’m not painting a very objective picture of myself. The more I think about it, the more I’d like to take a rain-check on the topic of me. Moving on. When I was younger, I trust people rather easily. But as I grow up and got hurt plenty, I began to draw an invisible boundary between myself and the other people. These days, no matter who I was dealing with, I maintained a set distance, carefully monitoring the person’s attitude so that they wouldn’t get any closer. I didn’t easily swallow what other people told me. And that’s when I realised that its hard for me to throw caution to the wind, and take a chance. Love now is unreliable. Only success is. And that’s how I’ve come to slogging my ass off at work these days, trying to achieve the ridiculous individual sales targets that have been set, even when the world is facing such uncertain financial times. But the bottom line is, the top just wants to see the results, regardless. And so, if I can succeed when there’s shit all round, who’s to say that I won’t be able to make it when the tide turns. |
